Uganda at 64: When Your employed child still depends on you
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As Uganda celebrated 64 years of independence on 9 October, my thoughts went beyond politics. What does it truly mean to be independent? What does it mean for a young adult who has a job and earns a salary, yet still depends on their parents for almost everything?
This is the reality in many Ugandan homes. A son or daughter graduates, finds employment and starts earning. Yet at the end of the month, it is still the parents who pay for food, electricity, water and other necessities.
There is nothing wrong with adult children living with their parents. With the high cost of rent and other expenses, staying at home can be a wise decision. The concern arises when an arrangement that should benefit both sides becomes a burden for one.
Who pays for what?
Consider a young man who earns a monthly salary while his parents continue to meet all his basic needs. He spends his money as he pleases, perhaps on the latest phone or on outings with friends, while his parents struggle to keep the household running. The question is simple: is this fair? Do you wait to be asked before you support the home, or do you feel obliged to contribute?
An employed adult living at home should contribute according to their means. This does not necessarily mean paying rent at market rates. It could mean buying food, paying the electricity bill, contributing towards water or taking responsibility for other household expenses. Parents and children should discuss these matters openly.
Nobody should have to guess what is expected. The economy is tough, and it affects everyone.
Parents also have a future to prepare for
Some parents find it hard to ask their children for financial contributions. They feel that providing for their children is still their responsibility, even when those children are earning. Others expect their working children to cover every family expense, including the needs of extended relatives.
Both situations can create problems. Parents may exhaust their savings, while young adults struggle to establish themselves financially.
Parents should plan for their later years as far as their circumstances allow. Saving, investing wisely and keeping a source of income where possible can reduce unnecessary dependence on children.
Of course, illness, disability and other difficult circumstances may make financial support unavoidable, and families should help one another in such situations. The aim is not to abandon parents. It is to avoid placing the entire family burden on one person without discussion.
Your salary is not entirely disposable income
Young people must also examine their spending habits. If your parents provide your accommodation, meals and other necessities, you have a chance to save a significant portion of your earnings. Use that chance wisely.
Set aside money for emergencies, further training, investments and future housing. Contribute to your household, and learn to meet your personal needs without repeatedly asking your parents for money.
It is also important to distinguish between helping your family and financing every request that comes your way. Supporting parents and siblings is commendable, but you must plan within your means. Financial independence is not about refusing to help others. It is about being able to help without constantly putting yourself in financial difficulty.
Living together requires an agreement
Parents should not assume that a child who earns a salary must move out immediately. Neither should working children assume that their parents must accommodate them indefinitely without any contribution.
Families need honest conversations about money, responsibilities and future plans. A young adult saving towards a house or a business may reasonably need to stay at home for some time. Parents can support that goal while agreeing on a fair contribution and a realistic plan. The arrangement should work for everyone, not just one side.
What does independence mean to us?
Uganda’s independence reminds us of the importance of building the capacity to manage our own affairs. The same principle applies to our finances and family relationships. Parents should work towards financial stability without expecting their children to become their only source of security. Working children should use their earnings to build their future while making a fair contribution to the homes that support them.
We must also recognise that independence does not mean living alone or cutting family ties. It means taking responsibility for what we can manage while offering support where it is genuinely needed.
The real test is not whether an employed child still lives with their parents. It is whether that arrangement helps the family grow stronger or leaves one generation carrying the entire burden.
As we reflect on Uganda’s independence, let us build homes where support is appreciated, contributions are fair, and both parents and children can look to the future with dignity.
The writer is the Executive Director of Hope Regeneration Africa, Parenting Coach, Marriage Counsellor, and Founder of the Men of Purpose Mentorship Programme.